Cat's Cradle
by manitilde
Summary: Cat Valentine is happy happy happy, except when she's not.  A companion to "Just Jade."
1. Cat's Cradle

Catarina Elizabeth Marie Valentine was born September 19, 1994 at exactly 3:28 am.

She knows this because there is a copy of her birth certificate folded in a box she keeps under her bed with all sorts of other mementos.

She is named for her grandmother (both of them) because her parents didn't have any girl's names picked out. (There had been a confusing sonogram)

She was supposed to be Michael Demetri Valentine, after her father. Her brother, who is born approximately 10 months later, got that name. Michael is a special boy and sometimes Cat thinks that that

might be her fault. (People sometimes call Cat special, but in a different way.)

Her family spends the first twelve years of her life in Sunnyvale, California. Her father, a tall man whose ancestry one would guess to be somewhat Mediterranean, works for Pear. He is great with

technology and circuitry. Cat is too, but not in the same way. It is all about math and science for him. He leaves the creativity to the design department.

Her mother is a perfect match for her father, physically. They were a beautiful couple. They have a perfect height difference, perfectly matching tones, and perfect features. All their family portraits are

picture perfect, especially when Cat's the one behind the camera.


	2. Brilliant

Cat thinks that Jade is amazingly talented. She first saw her perform when they were in the eighth grade. It was a small production, an all children company that was open to all. The play was a condensed version of "Beauty and The Beast" and Jade played Belle. Even though everyone else was unorganized and forgot their lines, Jade was different.

Cat thought Jade was magic and perfect and brilliant brilliant brilliant, but Jade doesn't think so. She says it doesn't count. Cat doesn't understand what she means.

Jade used to sing a lot when she and Cat were together which was okay because Cat loved to hear Jade sing. She loved to hear Jade completely free herself in a song, not holding back. Cat especially loved it when they would sing together, just the two of them, because it didn't matter what else was happening in their lives- right then all that mattered was the music. (But that doesn't happen a lot anymore)

Cat likes it best when she and Jade get to perform together. The two of them always seemed much better on stage and there was never any of that uncertainty that one wouldn't act a certain way. They had an understanding and always just clicked when performing. Cat asks Jade about it and she says she doesn't know why it happens. Cat likes to think it's just because they get each other even if no one else does.


	3. Combustible

They were sitting at lunch like they do every day and Tori was trying to explain the Fireworks video to Andre. As she started in about the flares coming out of people Cat said, "That happened to me once."

Immediately all eyes were on her, which was just a little uncomfortable. They were all wearing their "Let's just let her say it" expressions, well, all except Jade who may have been paying more attention at the possibility that she may be combustible.

"I taking off my super comfy blue penguin pajama bottoms and all around me it was like Spark! Spark! Spark!" she giggles.

Around the table were varying expressions of exasperation (eye rolls, fake smiles, sighs) before the conversation returned to Katy Perry.

What she doesn't tell them is that she spent the next half hour trying to get it to happen again because it made her feel special and pretty and cool.

Cat looks down before Jade catches her eye and gives her that look that said she was special in a good way that Jade didn't even give Beck. It was a look that said "I am Jade and you are Cat and that is okay."

It makes Cat feel better.


	4. Closet Space

When Cat was little, her favorite place to be was the closet under thestairs of her old house. She would climb in behind all the big wintercoats and make herself a little nest and just stay there.

Some days shewould be in the closet all day, even sleeping on her makeshift bed at night.

It made her feel safe.

When she got a little older, Cat would bring books and paper in with her. With her flashlight duct taped to the wall she would read all her fairytales and books about magic in her secret haven. She posted thepictures she drew all over the walls and she was happy.

When her family moves into her new house in LA, Cat is disappointed that all there is under those stairs was plaster and wood. So she tries to make do with the closet in her bedroom. But it's not the same.

Even curled up in the very back corner, she can hear all the yelling, the glasses breaking and her brother screaming in the room next to her.


	5. Unicorn

When Cat was younger she wanted to be a princess so badly. She loved all the Disney movies where the princes always got her prince and lived happily ever after.

Sometimes she would pretend that the playground where she played was her castle and that all the other kids were her subjects. She stopped playing that though, when one other the other girls came to the park in a sparkly crown and told everyone that she was the real princess and that Cat was a liar.

Sometimes she would hide in her backyard, like it was some kind of secret nation that only she knew about and that she was the ruler of. She would sit up in the tall tree in her yard and wait for her prince. Usually, it would just be her brother who walked into her wonderland.

Sometimes she dreams that her real grandmother would come and tell her that she was needed in some far off country to take her to her birthright. But then she remembers that Nana Cat died a long time ago and Grandma Beth worked for the postal service up north.

So Cat gives up being a princess.

She decides to be a unicorn instead.

When she tells Jade this she gets this look on her face. A half bemused half annoyed look that was wholly Jade. It's the same sort of look that Cat received when she told Jade she wanted to be a princess all those years ago. (or whenever Cat said anything that most people found strange)

Eventually, though, Jade gives a small smile and says, "Don't worry. I'm unicorn friendly. "


	6. Sound of Silence

Cat's father said that she talked too much. He even imposed a fifteen word limit on her conversations with him. Cat tries to stick to the limit, at first, but she always gets excited and goes over and her father always gets annoyed. Most days he just tells to go away and that he is busy.

At school her teachers tell her that she is disruptive in class and to raise her hand before speaking. She gets in trouble for it (a lot more at her old school than Hollywood Arts.) She doesn't know why she can't share what she is thinking with everyone else. They tell her that she is preventing the other kids from learning, though, so Cat holds her tongue.

She tries to be quiet and to be good, but to be honest, Cat hates the silence.


	7. Visiting

When Cat was little, she loved to visit her nana in Oakland.

Usually they would only stop over once a year, near Christmas or on very special occasions. She lived in a communal building that they needed to press a buzzer to be let in. The apartment itself was small and cramped, barely enough room for one person to live.

Her parents usually wouldn't stay long, instead leaving Cat with her grandmother while they took out Michael, who always hated sitting around after ling car rides (or maybe it was something about the squirrels in the yard.)

Cat didn't mind though. She loved her nana. She would always give Cat hard candy (something her parents would never do because they thought she would choke on it…again), and watch old movies. Sometimes she would just talk to Cat all day and tell her stories which Cat loved because her nana didn't treat her like she was stupid or anything.

And even if she did call her Mary once in a while, it was okay.


	8. Paraskevidekatriaphobia

Cat thinks it's funny how Tori is afraid of Friday the 13th mostly because Cat always has so much fun on those days. She didn't used to, not as a kid, not when she didn't know what her brother had left waiting for her at home –or even if he'd be home and not being escorted by two police officers somewhere.

No, as a kid, she could never look forward to those days.

But, at Hollywood Arts, there was an unofficial tradition that would take place every Friday the 13th: a school-wide-all-out-watch-your-back-tons-o-fun prank war. Every time one rolled around, everyone would try to one up the biggest prank from the previous prank war and, generally, the biggest prank was pulled off by none other than Jade West. 

Like once, back in sophomore year, just to warm up, Jade had filled Sinjin's locker full of apricot and grape flavored Jell-O, which was extra funny because those where the two flavors he refused to eat "on principle."

But Cat's favorite thing about the 13th was that Jade always seemed happier on those days and seeing her friends, especially her _best _friend happy made Cat happy and she could forget about all those other things, all the bad things. 

Because, she told herself, if she was happy, none of it really mattered.


	9. Knowledge is Power

Cat likes that she knows things about Jade that no one else knows.

Like how Jade always, always carries a notebook in her bag in case she thinks of a story away from her desk. Cat knows that for every college ruled blue line, Jade would squeeze in two lines of flowing cursive letters both to save paper and to keep people from reading over her shoulder. Sometimes she would ask Cat about something she was working on, bounce ideas off of her or ask which way sounded best, but mostly she worked alone and in silence.

Or how Jade never goes to school on November 13th. She doesn't tell anyone where she goes, but she always comes by Cat's house in the evening to pick up her homework assignments. Cat thinks about asking her where she goes

Cat knows that Jade likes dogs more than cats, but likes fish more than that and birds the best. She knows that, when Jade's really tired and it's just the two of them, she doesn't mind it so much if Cat hugs her (at least she doesn't push her away then).

And she knows that Jade jokes and teases and insults and that sometimes when she smiles it's worse than when she cries.


	10. Thoughts Above

Sometimes Cat thinks about God.

She thinks of how everyday really amazing things happen and how everyday really terrible things happen. Like how some people are nice and others are mean or some people _seem_ nice but are actually mean and she wonders why that is. She wonders why God makes bad and broken things instead of just the good things.

Looking at her friends she wonders if they wonder too.

Being both Portuguese and Italian, Cat really had no choice but to be Catholic, although her family doesn't practice much. She remembers her pretty white confirmation dress with the ruffles that floated when she spun and spun and spun and sometimes she sees her mother do the rosary when she's alone, but there is never much talk of religion in the Valentine household. There is never much talk of anything.

Robbie is Jewish, though, and Cat wondered what he thought. He takes a while to answer, like he's not sure. He believes in God, he says, he really does, but sometimes it seems like He never really paid him much attention. Rex says it's because Robbie's just a waste of space and a mistake who shouldn't have been born in the first place which makes Cat sad and Robbie angry. Rex was stuffed in Robbie's locker for the rest of the conversation.

Tori says that she's Christian and Cat forgets how that is different than Catholic. Tori tries to explain it to her, making a table about what's the same and what's different, but Cat gets distracted by Tori's colored pens and soon the two of them are making word art on the back of old homework assignments (Besides, Cat can't tell if Tori's confused expression is because of her pen not working or something else).

When she asks, Andre says that his grandmother used to be Baptist before she lost her mind, and he remembers most of the prayers. He goes to church still, every week, because he loves the music. He tells her that he thinks it's through music that he feels closest to God. (He takes her with him one week, and she thinks the music is pretty, but the whole time she just feels like she's sitting in a church, no where else).

Beck is halfway Hindi, depending on if he's visiting his grandparents. He likes what they have to say, most of the time. He says that it's all about balance and he likes that. That it means that there is a reason for everything, even if he can't see it. Cat likes that, too, and says as much. He smiles then and she smiles back. It's nice.

And Jade is, well, Jade. When Cat asked her what she thought about God, Jade had laughed. Cat hadn't understood why and Jade didn't explain. They go out for ice cream instead and eventually Cat starts to think about colored sprinkles instead.


End file.
